Ah bugger…..I am feeling very weepy this morning. I can’t pinpoint it….I am not missing Narc, I am in a safe place…..
Maybe…..I am a creature of habit, and I am in a very new space now.
I miss my mother…so very much.
It’s the holiday season, I cannot throw myself into work – I’m in the entertainment industry as an agent and in this country we have very little work booking bands over this time. We simply don’t do that anymore. Am I bored, and being to introspective?
I try to keep my thoughts contained, but I find myself remembering all the terrible things I have been through during my decade in the abusive relationship. Horrible things that still shame me, that I haven’t told anyone.
I’ve taken a tranquiliser. Whatever it takes to stop me breaking. Whatever it takes to get me through my weepy days – the days mama told me would come. But not to stay.
Nothing comes to stay.